Mijanou ter Braak

It must have been a couple of days ago I had a huge fight with a woman I knew for about two years or more. it isn't the first fight i had with her but it will definitely will be the last.

She is 62 years old and takes care over rejected dogs. She has 4 dogs herselve and temporarely adopted dogs over the past 6 or 8 years. Usealy she is a person who will crie when she sees injustice done to animals and above all she condems the human race.

Humans are evil, expecialy men are evil she used to say. Men are the cause of every problem in this world, because men are sick bastards who stuck us poor woman into this world of patriarchy and hate.

Whenever I talked about changing the system we live in she used to end the conversation saying i was naive and that all humans are evil and therefore there is no solution.

I used to feel sorry for her and only got involved with here again after she had a big fight with my oldest daughter and husband because she ended up in this disgusting fight with her male neighbour. He did punch her in the face 3 times and I felt extremely guilty and bad about that.

How can a men beat an older woman on her face? What kind of a men does that? Bloody bastard! And how could I have broken up with her after she went extremely agressive to my oldest daughter and husband. Maybe I overeacted? I couldn't just let this happen in this village. Why didn't anyone help her? What a sexist and cruel world we live in... 

So I decided to go and visit her alone. Every week once or twice. We used to talk a lot, and especially when we talked about this world we live in she used to come to the same point over and over again. People are assholes she used to say a lot. Animals are a lot better. Her dogs mend the world to her.She saved those poor creatures.

Only last time I visited her something went wrong. I picked her up to walk our dogs and while we were driving she started talking about the terrorist attack in Nice. I subconciously felt this was weird because she talked about it when i phoned and now she was going on about it again as if her whole life collapsed. I answered her that I find it shamefull that Europe and France will use this attack to send more army and weapons to this dirty war so than she exploded. She wanted to go back home straight away so i turned the car around. While i was driving back she insulted me the whole time. I wasn't that amazed because i saw this side of her before when she was fighting with my daughter and husband.

The only thing that did amaze me and did brake my heart was that when i stopped in front of her house she opened the cardoor and took one of her dogs by the neck and trew the poor animal out as hard as she could. The poor dog did fly out. The other dogs were to scared to get out and started hiding behind me sniffing and licking my neck. I wanted to drive of with the dogs in the back just to save them, that;s how I feld. She came to the other side of the car and dragged the other dogs out.

I just still can't believe it. An animal lover turned evil. Just like an animal right activist I used to mail with for several months that turned out to be evil to.

But i know know what it is. Both had this deep hate against humans, and maybe the truth is, that if you hate humans you hate yourself, and if you hate yourself you can't really love, not even animals. Maybe they use animals as a substitute for the love they can't give to themselves, but it doesn't mean they are animal lovers.

I supose a treu animal lover loves himself/herself and the people that suround them. So next time I meet someone who goes on about how much they hate people but how deeply they love animals I'll take a deep breath an run away.....